note to self // on process
You know what's equal parts confusing and exciting? Beyond communicating a good (and by good I mean whatever it is you imagine it should be) story, there are, like, no concrete rules for writing. You know what's sad? When the confusing part takes over. When you make up a bunch of rules for no reason. When you convince yourself you have to have a process like everyone else. You end up closing yourself in.
The thing is that when you write, you have to be the most vulnerable, authentic, individual version of yourself. People (other writers, your parents, etc) can teach you the tools, set an example, give bucketfuls of advice, inspire you with their overflowing minds, but the very essence of writing and how it works for you, you kind of have to figure out alone. It's a bit like stumbling around in the dark, to be honest. You might try lots of different things or just think a lot. When you find the light it'll be about what works for you to tell the best story you possibly can. (That's the definition of process we're sticking with for now.)
You know what else? Process changes. Try to shush the part of you that likes things unmessy and is currently sighing, so you can focus on the beauty of all this. You cannot be inflexible if you want to be growing. Because you're exploring and stretching out your fingers to touch something strange, you can't sit still for too long.
Please do not be afraid of change or of taking the time to figure out something new. Find what works best for you; then write like you're running out of time. Remember why you're writing in the first place.